Holy Mass

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of Holy Ghost

With these words Holy Mass begins; the eternal sacrifice made new upon the altar, the opening of the outpouring of love and mercy; at this point we adore God, we Worship him; but how shall finite creatures honour such an infinite debt? Oh how wonderful you are o’ God is that by joining our small acts of worship with the infinite homage and humiliation offered b y Jesus upon the altar we can pay this debt to you, through the introit, epistle, and collects we gather up our thoughts to you and give you Glory.

As the priest reads the Gospel we call to mind our sins; I know that I put my beloved upon the cross, I put my saviour, the Divine Spouse of my soul upon a wooden cross after being beaten, scourged and mocked, I may not have been there but I called out ‘CRUCIFY HIM’ when I sinned for a fleeting pleasure; I am as guilty as the Pharisees and the scribes; as guilty as Pilate and Herod.

Oh my beloved what a heavy debt I have amassed of sins with no means to pay the price myself; oh but my loving saviour who takes upon himself the price of my sins; oh Eternal Father I offer thee the satisfaction offered by gentle Jesus upon the Altar, oh Father if my tears move thee not then accept the tears offered by Jesus upon the Altar on my behalf; oh Precious Blood of Jesus wash over me and cleanse me from my sins, grant me my beloved the contrition of Mary Magdalene, the tears with which she washed thy feet and let me like she dry thy feet with the strands of my hair.

Oh as I look upon the offering the priest makes of thee I see with eyes of Faith my lover nailed to the cross where I have put him. “Hoc EST enim corpus meum”, Hic EST enim calix sanguinis Mei,

novi et aeterni testament; Oh how I wonder and rejoice at the words that bring my beloved down from heaven; as I thank God for making me a Christian, a Catholic Christian; for inviting me to the Marriage supper of the Lamb, as I move from my pew those words of holy writ come into my mind “behold the bridegroom cometh, go out to meet him’ as I kneel before the altar rail my mother appears again and places a flower in my hair before smiling and giving me her Divine son my beloved to hold in my soul; oh how sweet that my beloved now resides in me, he has given himself to me; oh how I must give myself totally to him, for him alone I will now live for him and him alone; such sweetness I feel that space and time collapse without meaning, how intense the feeling between creature and creator, Lord and slave, lover and lover that my body would fall apart if he were not so gentle and tender with me; in this time I offer my beloved what poor acts of love and adoration that I can.

Ite, missa est, and the Holy Sacrifice has ended; as I make my thanksgiving I console my love with prayers of reparation and ask pardon for those who wound him with sacrilege and indifference , oh blind sons and daughters, priests and religious of God; why do you wound him who loves your more than you love yourself? Why do you betray him for a fleeting pleasure that is straw fit only for the furnace?

I step out of the Chapel